Letting Go
by ReddTwilight
Summary: Jacob Black has a problem, his name is Edward Cullen. He knows that Bella loves him, he just can't accept the "safe" part. Part III of "Trials" series.
1. Exposed

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight in any way, and give all credit to Stephenie Meyer, and also take no credit for any references made to the novels and movie. Also, I make no money from these stories, they are for the enjoyment purposes of the fans.

ENJOY

~*~*~*~*

Chapter 1: Exposed

Monday again. I hate Mondays, they only mean that the weekend's over and I have to endure five days of scholastic torment before I had personal time with Edward again. At least, that's how I see things. Edward on the other hand…

He had me on his lap, his arms wrapped around my front hugging to his hard chest as he bowed his head down to kiss me. I grasped his arms holding them in place, my head tilted up to him. We were sitting n a table outside of the school. The clouds overhead kept the sun completely hidden, but it was still bright out.

"Will you two please knock it off?" Mike said as he and Jessica sat down next to us on the bench. Edward and I parted grinning stupidly at each other. "Or get a room or something." Mike continued.

"Well," Edward started, turning his head to look around at the many school buildings around us, "We do have several to choose from. Which one do you want to go to?" He asked me smiling his cocky grin. I playfully smacked the arm around my stomach which caused it to tighten holding me tighter. Edward leaned down to nuzzle my neck and I sighed.

"Seriously, Cullen, stop it. You're making me sick." Mike said again. "I can't stand all of this new fluffy, lovey-dovey blah with you two."

"I think it's sweet." Jessica said. I glanced at Jessica and smiled appreciatively. She smiled back. Everything was normal again. I looked around the grounds watching as more students arrived. I saw Lauren and Tyler leaning up against his car talking to each other. His hand was wrapped around hers. After Edward had spoken to Tyler and Lauren's behalf and explained everything, he asked Lauren if she would like to go to dinner with him they could get to know each other. After that as they say, 'the rest is history'. Tyler leaned over and kissed her lightly. I smiled at the blush that crept onto her cheeks.

I heard a familiar 'vroom' and Alice's Porsche pulled into the lot parking next to Edward's Volvo. My truck hadn't made an appearance in months. Not that Edward minded. Not one little bit.

Suddenly his arms stiffened around me and I felt his chest rumble. "What is it?" I looked up at him. He was glaring off at the street and I saw Jacob's car turn into the lot.

Jessica stood up at that moment calling to Angela. "I'll be right back, guys." She said and took off in Angela's direction waving.

"Edward?" I asked again.

Jacob got out of his car and walked three steps up the sidewalk before stopping and calling my name. I looked at him and then back at Edward.

"He wants to talk." Edward said glaring at him.

"What about?"

"He has a confession to make." Edward growled. "I'll be right here, but stay close." Edward unfurled me from his arms and I kissed him before I got down, but his kiss was hard and didn't contain any enthusiasm. I glanced over my shoulder at him as I walked toward Jacob. Edward remained sitting on the table, his feet on the bench. He had folded his hands, resting his chin on them, his elbows on his knees. His face was a mask of anger and concentration.

"Hey, Jacob." I greeted hm. "I haven't seen you in a while, everything ok?"

"Uh, yeah. Listen, can we talk?" Jacob asked, sliding his hands uncomfortably into his jeans. "There's something I need to tell you."

"Uh, sure. Yeah. Um… Let's go over here." I indicated a tree that was close enough to the table so Edward could hear without trying, but far enough away that Mike couldn't. I assume that's what Edward had meant by 'stay close'. He wanted to listen, but not tip Mike off.

Jacob leaned against the tree, his hands still in his pocket. I folded mine across my chest. I saw him glance at Edward. Edward just stared back at us. Waiting. I turned to Jacob. "What's up?" I asked.

"Bella… I… I have a confession to make, and I'm not proud of it. I… Um," He muffled a quiet laugh and continued, "I've been following you around since you came home from the hospital. I've been… Keeping an eye on you. So to speak."

I felt my mouth fall open and my arms fall to my sides. "You've been following me?" I asked, staring at him incredulously.

"Yeah."

"How long? What have you seen?"

"Since came home from the hospital, and… Everything. I follow you everywhere you go."

"Everywhere?"

"Yeah. Look, Bella, I'm really sorry. I-OW!"

I smacked Jacob as hard as I could. I couldn't believe this, I was beyond livid. He'd seen Edward and I in the meadow over the weekend. He'd followed us. I shoved Jacob back against the tree with all the strength that I had, never minding that he was rubbing the cheek I'd just smacked.

"What the FUCK is wrong with you, Jacob?" I screamed. I didn't care if people could hear us now.

"I'm just trying to protect you, I love you, Bella!"

"Protect me! From what?"

"From him!" Jacob yelled pointing at Edward, but never taking his eyes off mine. "I don't trust him with you. It's his fault you fell apart."

"No it's not, Jacob. It was no one's fault."

"If he wasn't sleeping with you nothing would have happened in the first place! I can't believe you still trust him after everything he's put you through!"

"Trust? You want to talk about trust?" I scoffed. "You're supposed to be my friend, Jacob. Friends don't spy on each other. If there's anyone I shouldn't be able to trust it's you." I said harshly, and I knew my words had cut him.

"Don't say that, please." He begged, his voice going quiet and soft. "I'm not spying on you, Bella. I'm just… Keeping an eye on you, making sure you're safe. I love you too much." He reached for my hand but I pulled it away in disgust.

"I don't need you to keep an eye on me, Jacob. I don't need your protection. I already have someone else's. I love him, with all my heart. And I trust him with my life."

"You shouldn't." Jacob whispered. I knew what he was referring to.

"Screw you, Jacob."

The bell inside the school rang announcing for everyone to move toward class. I looked up at Jacob with a murderous glare before walking away, leaving him leaning against the tree. I walked toward Edward who was standing by the table waiting for me. He watched Jacob over my shoulder as I approached and his gaze turned to me as I got closer. I threw my arms around his neck, his immediately wrapping around my waist and I kissed him hard and passionately. When we parted I slipped an arm around his waist and we headed inside. I threw one last angry over my shoulder at Jacob. He still stood b the tree staring at me, dejection covering his face. I'd hurt him. Good.

"You did that out of spite." Edward said as we walked through the doors. He was commenting on my kiss.

"Yes."

"Good job. He's really upset."

"Do you get some kind of sick joy out of Jacob's pain?" I asked as we turned a corner, a hint of fury in my voice.

"Only when it doesn't hurt you in return. And right now I can see that it does so no. Right now I am not reveling in it." We walked in silence as we headed for class. Edward wrapped a firm arm around my waist. "You gonna be ok?"

"Yeah. I just need to calm down. Can we… can we go for a run after school. I mean, you do the running and I hold on?"

Edward smiled at me. "Of course. Where would you like to go?"

"Anywhere, I don't care. I just need to be alone with you."

Edward was silent in thought for a moment. "To talk?" he asked. We arrived at our classroom and he held the door open for me.

"Talk, think out loud… Come to some conclusions about why Jacob is such an ass."

Edward chuckled and kissed the top of my head. I knew was smiling because of my terminology for Jacob. I shook my head at him as we sat down in our seats next to each other.

Vampires…


	2. Pain

Chapter 2: Pain

Edward drove straight to my house after school, driving slower than normal. I was still really irritated from this morning and he knew how much his crazy driving bothered me. His hands were clenching the steering wheel when we pulled up in front of my house and him slamming his door shut did nothing to improve my mood. He pulled my door open and held his hand out to take my bag, but I slung it over my shoulder and walked past him.

"Bella, I'm not mad with you." He called as I walked briskly to my front door. I turned and walked back over to him throwing my bag in the bed of my truck.

"Then why did you slam your door?" I asked crossing my arms over my chest defensively. Edward walked over to me facing me in a way so I turned enough that my back was against my truck. He put his arms out on either side of me trapping me in.

"If I tell you, do you promise not to get upset?" I stared into his eyes for a long time, the golden ocher of them staring back at me. Now the real reason for my current position made sense. Restraint. "Jacob's here." He said quietly. He stared at me in fear as fire burned in my eyes and pure, unadulterated rage crossed my face.

"Where?" I snarled.

"In the woods. Bella, love, please. Calm down. He wants to apologize."

I didn't notice Charlie's cruiser pulling in. "I don't want an apology!" I yelled. "I want an explanation! I want to-"

The sound of the cruiser door slamming shut made me stop. Charlie got out and walked over to us. I knew from his perspective of our current positions against the truck and my raised voice must have made it look to him as if we were fighting.

"You two ok?" He asked as he walked past us.

"Fine." I grumbled. "We're not fighting, Dad."

Charlie stopped at the door and pulled the mail from the box. "Sure seems that way." He said flipping through the mixture of envelopes. He glanced at Edward and then at me. Edward never took his eyes off of my face. "All right, I'll believe you for now. But if you two keep yelling I might have to take some action." Charlie opened the door and shut it as he went inside.

"Sorry." I mumbled to Edward, tucking some hair behind my ear.

"It's fine, Bella." Edward smiled gently. He reached out fixing a piece I had missed. "Why don't we go for that run now? I know a place we can go where Jacob won't follow. It's near my house. There's this waterfall I'd like to show you. It might help you relax."

I reached my arms up around his neck and kissed him soundly. He wrapped an arm around my waist pulling me closer to him and groaning into my mouth. He pushed us both against the truck with an audible thud and I gasped. He immediately closed the space between us again, bracing one hand against my truck to support himself. My arms traveled down a little, one hand remaining in his hair, the other grasping his waist.

"Edward…" I moaned his name and felt his chest rumble with a low growl. "Edward." I breathed again.

"Ok." He pulled away slowly. "Let's stop for now." I wound my arms around his neck burying both of my hands in his hair and standing on my toes to kiss him again. He grasped my waist returning my kiss for a moment before pushing me back. "Bella, stop." He laughed. He took my hand. "Let's go." He began pulling me toward his car but I let go and turned back to my truck.

"Wait," I said and grabbed my bag from the truck bed. I hurried back to Edward grabbing his hand.

~*~*~*~*

"So, how come Jacob won't follow us here?" I asked as I climbed down from Edward's back. He took the blanket that I had held on to throwing it over his shoulder. He'd run us about twenty miles north of his house. Ahead of us I could the sound of water crashing onto rocks with no other sound around us. Edward took my hand leading me through the dense forest growth.

"I've noticed that he doesn't like to travel farther north than ten miles. He doesn't like to leave his father alone for too long."

"I can understand that." I said stepping over roots and rocks. "You really think he won't follow us here?" I asked. We broke through the thick forest and we were standing in front of a tall waterfall. The thundering sound of the falling water filled my ears but it was peaceful at the same time. "Edward, this is beautiful." I breathed.

"I know. I found this years ago. I wanted to show it to you sooner, but I figured the meadow would be more appropriate for a 'first date'."

"I'm glad you waited."

Edward stared down at me his eyes full of compassion. "Me, too." He took my hand again and lead me along the edge of a large pool of water until we were in an open space of the woods and the sound of the waterfall was background noise. There were several fallen logs and huge rock formations to sit on. Edward threw the blanket over a low portion of rock and held my hand as I climbed up onto it. He followed me sitting down and immediately pulling me into his lap wrapping his arms around me. We sat there for several long minutes while I organized my thoughts.

"Why would Jacob do something like this?" I asked. I was more so thinking out loud than actually asking the question, but I wanted Edward's input. He had more insight into this than I did.

"He told you earlier, to protect you. He doesn't trust me with you, Bella, and I can understand why. It makes me angry, too, though. You think I like him invading our personal space when we're together? I'm just as upset as you are."

I breathed deeply. "There has to be a better reason than that." I argued. "Jacob's been pushing this whole 'I'm not safe with you' bullshit since you took me to prom last year."

"That's twice you've cursed in one day. I think it's a new record." Edward teased.

I laughed mockingly, "Yeah, well, be prepared for more." I warned him.

"Bella…" he leaned forward and nuzzled my neck. I pushed him back.

"Not now, Edward, I'm too angry." He pulled me tighter against him sucking in a sharp breath. "Edward?"

"I lied." He said quickly. "He followed us. He's really desperate, Bella."

"I don't want to talk to him." I mumbled.

"You're the one who wanted an explanation."

I breathed angrily this time. "You're right. Stay here." I ordered. I climbed out of his arms and got down from the rock. I looked back up at Edward.

"That way." He pointed toward the waterfall. "I'll stay close."

"No," I put my hand out. "Go ahead and listen, but stay here. I don't want you to get too close. I don't want him to hurt you."

Edward jumped down from the rock too fast for me to see. "You're not afraid of me hurting him?" he asked with a small smile on his lips.

"No, I would like the pleasure of that if you don't mind."

"Fine. I'll finish off what's left." He teased.

I stared up at him, my eyes full of anguish. "Edward, please, be serious."

"I'm sorry, Bella." He apologized, his voice comfortingly soft. He reached down and took my hand. "I'll stay here, I promise."

"Thank you." I kissed him lightly and walked off in the direction he'd pointed making my way back to the waterfall. I saw Jacob standing there barefoot. At least he was wearing both pants and a shirt. Normally he would go around shirtless, less to carry when he phased back and forth.

"What do you want?" I asked getting no closer to him than what three of his strides could cover.

"Bella, I'm sorry about this morning and I'm even sorrier for what I'm doing, but I just want you to know that I never wanted to hurt you." He started walking towards me but I put a hand up to stop him.

"Then why did you do it, Jacob? Why would you put our friendship at risk like that? Why can't you just trust Edward?"

"He's a filthy bloodsucker, Bella."

"You know," I took one step forward and stopped, crossing my arms, "I'm getting really sick of this prejudice between you two. It has to stop."

Jacob closed the distance between the two of us in two huge, angry strides. I stared up at him. "Leave him, Bella, and maybe, maybe, I'll stop."

"No," I said firmly. "I'll never leave Edward. I love him. He's my life, Jacob."

He grabbed my shoulders. "Stop being such a fool, Bella!" he hissed.

"Let go of me," I said, disgusted with him. He dropped his hands at the tone in my voice. "I'm not leaving him." I said again.

"Then don't expect me to leave you two alone." He growled furiously. Jacob turned from me and began walking away.

"Then don't expect me to think of you as a friend!" I called after him. Jacob spun around and crossed the space he had created between us in a matter of seconds. He grabbed my arms this time.

"Is that what you want, Bella?" he shook me, his voice full of rage. "You want to just forget about me, cut me from your life like I was never apart of it? What about earlier this year? I helped you get past all that pain the he left behind in you heart! This is how you thank me?" He let go of my arms and backed away.

"Thank you?" I spat, "Thank you for what? For trying to fill that hole in my heart with false promises you'd never be able to keep, and in the end making that hole even larger? For giving me false hope? I have nothing to thank you for, Jacob."

Jacob stumbled, his face becoming a mask of pure anguish. "I never thought I could feel this pain." He whispered, staring into my livid eyes. "This hurts, Bella."

"Well now you know how it feels." I sneered

"I don't like it."

"Deal with it." I said angrily. "I did." I turned away from him, tears streaming down my face, and walked away. As soon as I knew I had disappeared behind the dense forest, I let myself fall into Edward's waiting arms.


	3. Anger Management

A/N: Thank you for the reviews! I love reading them! They always make me so happy and brighten my day no matter how shitty it is. (Sorry for the language). My wrist was very sore after writing and typing this chapter. I have Esme's bracelet from the movie, and it's a cuff type bracelet with the Cullen Crest on it that's too big on my wrist no matter how much I pinch it closed. I forgot to take it off while writing and typing and the band cut into my arm against the muscles. Ouch! I'm ok, I'll suffer through it. It won't affect the speed with which I crank out my chapters, so no worries!

ENJOY EVERYONE!!!

~*~*~*~*

Chapter 3: Anger Management

Tears were still falling down my face when Edward drove me home, holding my hand the entire way keeping our fingers laced. I sat with me chin in my hand staring out the window at the rain that had begun to fall as we running back to his house. I was soaked through, Edward not so much only because he ran so fast. Considering that you'd think I wouldn't be so wet either, but I was the one strapped to his back. He'd offered to cover me with the blanket, but I said I would be fine.

After I had walked away from Jacob, Edward had been waiting for me. He didn't say anything as he wrapped me up in his arms and let me cry into his shirt. I wasn't sad, I was angry. I was angry at Jacob, I was angry at myself. But overall I was just really, really angry. Why did Jacob have to be like this? What did he expect from me? Even if I were to leave Edward, which I never would and would never even consider it, I wouldn't go running into Jacob's arms.

Even without telling me repeatedly that he loved me, Jacob had made his feelings for me quite clearly on several occasions. I just didn't feel the same way about him. I loved him, yes, but not the way he loved me. I loved him like a brother, like the friend I had grown up with.

Friend…

He was no friend right now. I don't want to use the word enemy, but honestly, that's how it feels. Edward parked his car in front my house and turned the engine off. The sound of the rain hitting the roof of the car soundly became very loud.

"You want to be alone right now?" he asked.

I stared at him incredulously. What kind of question was that? "I mean, I know you're upset, and I don't want to say anything that will make it worse."

"Why are you even asking that?"

Edward shrugged. "I don't know. You just seemed completely lost in thought over there, and I figured maybe you'd want some time to yourself to sort through whatever's going through your mind right now."

"No, Edward." I said placing my hand on his knee. "I don't want to be alone right now. It's the last thing I want right now. And it would probably be the worst thing for you to leave me alone right now."

"True." He took my hand again and brought it up to his lips to kiss it. "Let' get inside before this turns into a downpour. Edward got out of the car and ran (at human speed) over to my side and opened the door for me. He covered my head with one side of his jacket as we raced up the walkway to the door. Inside he hung up our jackets and we kicked off our shoes. Charlie was just walking down the stairs strapping on his gun belt.

"Oh good, you two are back. Anymore fighting?"

"No, we just went for a long walk. I needed to talk about stuff that's bugging me."

"What kind of stuff, Bella?" Charlie looked at me noticing my tear streaked face. "You ok? Something else going on at school? You look like you've been crying."

"What? No, it's just the rain." I lied. Charlie didn't need to know the reason I was crying, I was sure Jacob would be calling the house and he would find out eventually.

"All right. Well, I have to go out, there's been an accident. I don't know how late I'll be. Don't wait up for me, Bells." He shrugged his jacket on and paused at the door. "There's some pizza left on the counter if you two get hungry."

"Thanks, Dad. Uh… Be safe."

"Thanks, Bella." He smirked at me shutting the door on his way out. Edward walked over glancing out the window to watch Charlie leave. Once the cruiser was out of the driveway Edward locked the door.

"Didn't want him to think I was holding hostage in here." He chuckled.

I groaned softly holding my head. "I think I want a hot shower." I said making my way for the stairs. Edward followed me silently.

I turned the water on in the shower shutting the curtain. Edward shut the bathroom door as I reached down to remove my socks and stumbled.

"Let me." Edward said softly. "Sit."I sat down on the chair I usually put my clothes on that I would change into after washing. Edward crouched in front of me and began pulling my socks off. "You're freezing, Bella." He reached for a hand towel by the sink and wrapped one foot in it and rubbed. I could the coolness of his palms through the terrycloth, but it didn't make me colder. He rubbed the other foot until he was satisfied that I felt warmer. I looked down at him, my face forlorn and drawn in anguish. He reached up tucking some hair behind my ear and kissed me. "Bella," he said softly, "don't be mad at yourself, please. He needed to hear those things from you."

"But they weren't true. None of them. I was just… So angry. I didn't mean any of it." Edward sighed and motioned for me to raise my arms so he could lift my shirt off. "I'm still mad. I want to just rip his head off."

"Can I help?" Edward asked his tone serious. He untied the string on my sweatpants.

"You two really need to talk." I said, lifting my hips enough so he could pull the pants off, and then sitting back down in the chair. Edward placed his hand on my calves and rubbed them to get the blood flowing. His hands actually felt warm against my skin right now. I must really have been freezing, but I didn't shiver. He grasped both sides of the chair I was sitting on, his arms forming angles with his shoulders. He stared straight into my eyes.

"I don't know if I can do that, Bella. I don't think it would a very good idea."

I sighed. Steam from the shower was beginning to fill the bathroom and fog the mirror. "I wish you two wouldn't hate each other so much. It breaks my heart sometimes."

Edward breathed out deeply and cupped one side of my face stroking my hair. "All right, I'll talk to him. But you have to be there." He said.

"Why?" I asked, quirking one eyebrow.

"If you're there, there's less of a chance I'll lose control. I'll be less inclined to hurt him knowing that you're close enough that I could hurt you, too."

"You wouldn't hurt him even if I wasn't there, Edward. You said you would never do anything that would cause me pain, and that included hurting Jacob because he's my friend."

"Some friend." Edward scoffed.

"I know," I breathed. "So, you want me to play the role of mediator?"

"In a sense." Edward smiled his crooked grin at me.

I leaned forward and kissed him. "Thank you." Edward stared at me for a moment then he leaned in and kissed me. It was urgent, passionate. I wanted more. He wrapped one arm that had been leaning on the chair around my waist pulling me up from my seated position, the other arm coming around me. I latched on to him, our kiss growing more insistent, and made him walk backward until his back hit a wall with a very loud thud. We both grunted breaking apart. Edward reached down and pulled his socks off as I worked at his belt. He yanked his t-shirt off then cupped my face with both of his hands kissing me hard. I shoved his pants down and he stepped out of them gracefully kicking them away. This was the outlet I needed right now. I was so furious with the day's events that I just needed to channel my rage and I know Edward was more than willing to take the beating. He wouldn't feel it anyway. I don't want to sound like I'm using him, because I'm not. I'm pissed, yes, but I love Edward, with all my heart. I would never intentionally abuse him in any way, especially with sex. It was far too important to us, and Edward was finally able to let go of his fear. I didn't want that creeping back into our relationship. I'm thankful right now that Charlie was not home. We were going to be loud.

We shed the rest of our clothes as Edward backed me toward the shower. He pulled the curtain open and shut it behind himself as we stepped into the tub. He pressed me up against the tile opposite the shower head pushing legs apart with his knee. I wrapped one around his hip to give him more room and he joined our bodies effortlessly. He stated pushing against me, fixing my arms around his neck so I wouldn't slip. The water falling on us felt so good. It was burning hot. Edward was beautiful with his auburn hair plastered wet to his head. I kept my eyes shut after that grunting in his ear as we moved together harder. I wasn't going to last long, not with him taking me the way that he was. I met each of his movements, pushing back harder each time with the rage and desire that coursed through me. All thoughts of Jacob were erased from my mind as I could focus only on this moment. I never wanted this to end. It felt too damn good.

I cried out his name as I came undone in his arms and he did the same. He let my body relax slipping his hand to the underside of my thigh that was still wrapped around him, and pushed it down. I kept my arms around his neck so I wouldn't slip in the wet tub. But I managed to anyway. Edward caught me, falling to the base of the tub with me wrapping me in his arms. I still wasn't done crying. He just held against his chest stroking me, the water beating down on us, until I stopped.

~*~*~*

"Don't you think this is a little cliché?" I asked. "Me sitting against you in a bath and you washing me? It's like some cheesy romance movie."

I had forgotten to pull the plug from the drain when I turned the shower on and water had begun to fill the tub during our… Well, you know. We'll just call it a 'therapy session'. Edward had shut the shower off while I had been crying and when I stopped he had sat against the back of the tub opposite the faucet pulling me back against his body sitting me between his knees. He'd filled the tub with more hot water and then began washing the front of my body.

"No, I wouldn't this cliché. I would call this anger management." He said quietly, running a bath sponge up and down my arm gently. "If you haven't noticed already, you're much calmer than you were before."

"Hm." I sunk further down into the water resting my head on his chest. Edward took the opportunity to run the sponge over my shoulders and collarbone. I turned over when he finished and laid on my stomach tilting my head up at him. Edward smiled at me putting his knees down and extending his legs. I inched up body so I could wrap my hands around his neck and kiss him gently. "Thank you." I whispered.

Edward smiled in response. "Put you head on my shoulder." He said softly. I did so, keeping one hand on his neck for support so I didn't slip. I buried my fingers in his soaking hair and kissed his neck. Edward gently washed my back, using long up and down strokes that were extremely comforting and relaxing. "You know, Bella, if you were a newborn vampire you would have definitely hurt me earlier when you were, and please pardon the shallowness of this, screwing me senseless."

I looked at him smiling. "I think that's a good way to put it. You were doing the same in return, you know."

"Yeah, I was. I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No." I kissed him softly again. "Well, I'll be a newborn soon, so maybe I will get the chance t hurt you… In a good way."

Edward chuckled. "In a very good way." He put the sponge on the side of the tub and turned back to look at me taking my face in his hands and kissing me. "Ready to get out?" he asked when we parted. "You're getting pruney."

"Yeah, I suppose I should. Edward!" I laughed out loud as he stood up, scooping me up in his arms and stepping out of the tub. He had caught me completely off guard. He set me on my feet wrapping me up in one of the huge towels that was hanging up. I dried off as he dressed and began to pick up my clothe.

"Be right back." He said, and was, with my pajamas in his hand. I looked at him confused for a moment. "It's almost eight, but you could use a good night's rest after today. I nodded in agreement and took the clothe from him. "I'll turn around."

"Edward, how many times have you seen me naked?"

"It's only polite." He kissed my forehead and turned, covering his eyes with one hand. I saw him shake slightly with laughter.

"Stop mocking me!" I yelled at him, half laughing. I dressed quickly and turned him to face me, pulling his hand down from his eyes. I stood on my tiptoes to kiss him, my hands pressed flat to his chest. Edward scooped me up again carrying me to my bedroom. He kicked the door shut behind us. He laid me down on my bed pulling the blanket over me then got in the other side, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling my back to his front. He kissed my temple and whispered,

"Sleep well, Bella."

"When I'm in your arms I always do."


	4. Redemption

A/N: HI!!!!! Took a bit of a break yesterday to read more of "New Moon". Can't remember how many times I've read the series anymore. I lost count. Anyway, here's the next chapter. Hope you all enjoy!!

ReddTwilight

Chapter 4: Redemption

I don't know how many days went by that I didn't hear from Jacob. My mind was in a constant state of autopilot. I somehow managed to get from one day to the next without calling him to make sure he was all right. Edward was looking out for my well being, taking my keys every time I thought about driving to La Push. Normally I would get angry and yell at him till he gave them back, but I made no fuss now. I eventually got to the point where I knew that if Jacob wanted to talk he would present himself.

I slept at Edward's most nights, staying home to make Charlie dinner, do some homework, and then head out. I could tell Charlie was starting to get upset with that, but we never spent any time together to begin with, except at dinner and I can't even count that because we hardly talked.

I'd completely lost count of the days by the time Charlie answered the phone and called me, saying it was Jacob. It was close to six at night, I had just finished dinner and was about to go upstairs and do homework with Edward.

"What's going on with you two? I haven't seen him around here in two weeks." Charlie asked. Two weeks? When was Jacob here two weeks ago? Charlie answered my thought as if he had heard it, although I was sure it was the confusion on my face he was answering. "Yeah, that day you and Edward were outside fighting. He showed up after you two left. Right after actually… I told him he had just missed you and that you'd gone out with Edward."

"Thanks, Dad." I took the phone from him and headed upstairs. So, two weeks had gone by. Great, I wonder how Edward was feeling with my behavior. Probably scared I was going to fall back into panic attack mode. No, I would never do that to him again. I shut my door behind me loudly so Charlie would know to leave me alone. Edward was already waiting for me inside my room. He stood behind me holding my shoulders as I put the phone to my ear.

"What do you want, Jacob?" I asked exasperated.

"I want to talk to you, Bella. You and me, without that bloodsucker lurking around."

I felt Edward's chest rumble with a low growl. "That's not going to happen, Jake. Edward goes where I go." I said firmly, hoping he got my point.

"Well find a way to leave him behind we need to talk." Jacob pressed.

"No shit we need to talk, Jacob! But more importantly, you and Edward need to talk." I yelled at him. I was not gong to lose it. I was _not_ going to lose it.

"I don't want to talk to that _leech_, Bella! I want to talk to you!" Jacob yelled back. _He_ was losing it.

"You _are_ talking to me!" I shouted this time, and I was sure Charlie could hear me. I felt Edward's hands tighten comfortingly on my shoulders. It didn't help. "What do you need to say?" I asked, irritated.

"I. Want. To. Talk. To. You. Alone." Jacob said each word individually, emphasizing the 'alone' bit.

"That's not going to happen, Jacob. You want to talk to me, fine, we'll talk, but Edward will be there, and _you_ two will talk as well."

"Bella, why are you making me do this?" his voice sounded strained.

"Because we have a few things straighten out, Jacob Black! I am so sick and tired of all the bullshit between you and Edward! You two _have_ to come to terms with each other! I can't take this anymore!"I shrieked. I could feel tears welling in my eyes.

"Bella, please, don't cry. I can't stand to hear you cry."

"Then stop acting like suck a jerk!" I let a couple tears escape, my voice breaking. I felt Edward take the phone from my hand and didn't object. He wrapped an arm around my waist and walked me over to my bed where he sat me down, sitting beside me. He never removed his arm.

"Jacob." Edward said calmly into the phone. I was in pieces beside him, crying, shaking. I had lost it.

"Where's Bella?" Jacob snarled. "Put her back on the phone, bloodsucker!"

"Jacob, Bella's too upset to talk anymore. If you could see her right you'd take everything back. But she's right. You and I have to talk about this. It's breaking her heart to watch us act the way we do around each other. You're supposed to be her best friend."

"I am, now put Bella back on the fucking phone!"

I reached over to grab the phone from Edward, but he put his arm out to stop and push me back. I tried again, but this time he planted his hand on my chest restraining me. Jacob had no right to yell at Edward like that when Edward was trying to be polite and reason with him. It was inexcusable.

"Give me the phone, Edward!" I yelled my voice cracking from the tears. My throat felt so raw, like someone had scraped the inside of it with sandpaper.

"Bella, shush." Edward kept his hand on my chest as he continued talking to Jacob. "Do you hear her?" he asked. "Do you hear what you're doing to her?"

"It's your fault, too, leech." Jacob growled.

"I know, and you can't imagine the pain it causes me to see her like this. She does not need to end up back in the hospital."

"You think hearing her like that doesn't cause me pain as well? I love her."

"I love her too, Jacob, more than you ever will. She is my _life_. I will never leave her again, I will never abandon her. I go where she goes."

"Taking her life away is not love."

"That's her choice, not mine. You think I want to do that, honestly? You think I want to end the perfect beauty of her human life and watch her become a monster? Jacob, if you think I would do that, then you know nothing about me, and less about Bella. The last thing I want is for her to be like me. But it's what she wants… To be with me forever."

"To be a filthy bloodsucker like you, yeah, that sounds like Bella."

I tried to grab the phone from Edward again, but this time he pushed me back hard enough that I landed on my back on the bed, bouncing lightly. "Edward!" I shouted at him, I was losing my voice. "Give me the phone!"

"Bella, stop." He said. 'Sorry', he mouthed after and pulled me back into a sitting position beside him, kissing the side of my head. I forgave him, patting his knee.

"Please give me the phone, Edward." I croaked.

"You can hardly talk, Bella. Go make some tea for yourself."

"No. Give me the phone." I demanded. "I'm not going downstairs." I said more quietly. "Charlie will ask questions."

"I'm not giving you the phone, Bella. You need to calm down." Edward wrapped his arm back around my waist and pulled me closer to him.

"Edward," I heard Jacob ask over the phone.

"What?"

"I'm her friend, Edward, let me talk to her."

Edward sighed heavily. He was contemplating something, maybe a card he wanted to play with Jacob to force him into the discussion they needed to have. I nodded at him when he looked at me with the question in his eyes. I didn't care what he said, they needed to talk, and if Edward could force Jacob's hand, more power to him.

"If you're her friend, Jacob, you should try acting like it." Edward said calmly, and hung the phone up after that. "Was that too much?" he asked turning to me, laying the phone on my bed.

"No," I croaked, shaking my head. "This has to happen, one way or another."

Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulders now hugging me to him. "Sorry I pushed you so hard, I didn't mean to." He kissed the top of my head.

"I know, you didn't hurt me, actually I kind of liked it. You pushing me down on the bed…"

Edward chuckled. "Maybe later." He said answering my thought. "I'm gonna go make you some tea. Do you have a preference?" he asked getting up. I shook my head.

"I'll stay up here for now. Actually I think I'll go wash my face."

"Good idea." He leaned down and kissed me again. "Be right back." He promised.

"Don't threaten me." I teased a smile on my lips. Edward chuckled again, shaking his head as he walked out.

~*~*~*~*

We stayed at my house that night. Charlie didn't say anything about the yelling he'd heard, and hadn't asked Edward any questions when he went downstairs after. Nor did he say anything when he saw me shut my door for the night, Edward already reclining on my bed. I slept on and off lying in his lap pretty much, my knees drawn up under the quilt, my head resting on his chest. I was awake when Charlie peeked in on us. I knew he was expecting to see something else, but all he saw was Edward sitting up in my bed with his head leaning against the wall and me curled up against him with his arms around me. We both kept our eyes shut pretending to be asleep until Charlie shut the door. I couldn't get back to sleep after that. I laid there in Edward's arms, my mind wandering as he stroked my hair and back continuously. It was after we could both hear Charlie snoring that there was the sound of a rock against my window.

Edward looked up and sighed heavily.

"Jacob?" I asked looking up at him. Edward nodded. I unfurled myself from his arms and walked to the window throwing it open. "Jacob!" I hissed down at him. My voice was almost back to normal now. He looked up at me and I shrugged raising my hands. "What is it?" I whispered loudly.

"Come down, bring him with you." Jacob answered and walked off toward the woods.

I pulled my head in and shut the window. "You want to do this?" I asked.

"Do you?" Edward returned my question. I nodded. "He seems calm right now."

"What's he thinking?"

"He wants to talk about this afternoon." I shook my head and went about pulling shoes and a jacket on. Edward just pulled shoes on. "I don't think anything will happen, Bella. I don't see any anger in his mind."

"Good."

We both headed downstairs and out the front door in the direction Jacob had walked off in. He was waiting for us at the entrance to the woods on the side of my house, hands in his pockets. He was shirtless again, dressed in just his usual knee-length shorts.

"Walk?" I asked as Edward and I approached.

Jacob shook his head. "No, let's just talk here. Look, after you," Jacob glanced at Edward, "hung up on me this afternoon I walked around my house thinking, well, for a long time. Mostly about what you said about us and how us fighting all the time is breaking Bella's heart. And I can't live with that, knowing that I'm causing her pain. You were right. If I'm her friend, I should try acting like it." Jacob turned his gaze to me. "I don't want to lose you, Bella, even if all we ever are is just friends. And I certainly don't want to hurt you. I'm willing to talk to Edward about this. That's what I came here to say." Jacob looked at both of us, shifting uncomfortably on his feet. "But not right now. I want to settle this and smooth things out between the three of us, but I need a couple days to think and get my thoughts in order. There's a lot that I want to say. Can this conversation wait a couple days?" he asked hesitantly.

I nodded slowly, impressed that he wanted to try, and even more thankful that this was finally going to be resolved. "Edward?" I asked looking up at him.

"I can wait." Edward said. "I need to get my thoughts in order as well."

"Fine, I'll come back in a couple days." Jacob said and turned to go.

"Bella is going to be present." Edward called after him. "I asked her to be. I need her there."

Jacob turned back around and glanced at me then to Edward. "Fine, that's probably a good idea. I won't be as tempted to rip your head off."

"That's the point." Edward agreed."So _I'm_ not tempted to rip your throat out."

"Edward, Jacob, please." I said firmly, "Let's not start this again. I can't handle it."

"Sorry, Bella." They said simultaneously.

"Thank you. So we'll see each other in a couple days." I confirmed. Jacob nodded, glaring at Edward. He slipped a protective arm around my waist and began walking me toward the house. I knew Jacob was watching the whole time. Even if this talk did happen, Jacob would never let this go. Not until Edward was gone… Or I was no longer human. I knew which one I would pick.


	5. Crash

Chapter 5: Crash

Charlie started asking questions in the morning. It was Sunday, his day off. Edward and I walked downstairs with our arms around each other's waists. Charlie eyed us as we walked into the kitchen like that then looked at the clock on the wall. It was late, almost eleven. He stated the obvious first.

"You two are up late." I noticed he had his tackle box all over the kitchen table and was checking over his fishing pole.

Good, he was going out.

"Long night?" he asked looking up at us. I was mortified as soon as soon as the question was out of his mouth and it showed on my face. "I'm teasing, Bells."

"Great, Dad. Thanks." I let go of Edward and went about making myself a bowl of cereal. Edward remained in the doorway, arms crossed, watching me.

"So what's going on with you and Jacob?" Charlie asked, continuing with his tasks. That question had been imminent.

"Just stuff, Dad. Stupid teenage stuff." I answered grabbing a bowl from the cupboard above me.

"Then what was all that yelling I heard upstairs yesterday? I heard Edward yelling at him, too."

The bowl in my hand dropped and crashed to the floor shattering. Edward dashed over (at human speed) to clean it up. Presumably so I didn't cut myself. Not that he wanted my blood anymore. He'd told me he had no craving for it since he'd thought I died earlier this year when I threw myself off a cliff.

"Bella, are you all right?" Charlie asked. He rushed over pulling me back from the shattered porcelain, apparently Edward wasn't the only one who'd observed over the last year how utterly clumsy I was.

I pulled myself from Charlie's hands and stood with my back to a wall. "Yeah, fine." I said watching Edward clean up the broken white bits from the floor. "Look, Dad, I really don't want to talk about Jacob, ok?"

"Tell me what's going on, Bella." Charlie returned to his seat, watching me watch Edward. He was so graceful as he scooped every last bit of porcelain from the floor and dumped into the trash without dropping even a chip. "Are you two in a fight? You know, Bella, he's always had a thing for you. You shouldn't be so hard on him."

"Dad, I know. It's just that though." I went to grab another bowl but Edward beat me to it and poured the cereal as well. "He has this crush on me and…"

"It's more than a crush, Bella."

I glanced at Edward who was gripping the counter so hard his pale, translucent skin was stretching over his knuckles. It reminded me of my first day at Forks high school, the day we met. I placed my hand over his and it seemed to calm him sufficiently.

"Whatever it is." I said turning back to Charlie. "That's what we're fighting about. Jacob has this whole jealousy thing going on and its starting to affect our friendship. Ok? That's all. Can we stop talking about it now?" I begged.

"Yeah, I just wanted to know. You two have been friends since you were babies. You practically grew up together…"

"Dad." I said putting a hand out to stop him. "Please."

"Sorry." He put his hands up in mock surrender. "I'll stop."

Edward handed me my cereal and a spoon silently then walked over to the table with me pulling out my chair and standing behind me as I ate.

"So what are two doing today?" Charlie asked as he began putting his tackle box back together and assembling his pole.

"Well, you're going fishing obviously." I said nodding at the spread he was cleaning up.

"I didn't ask that." Charlie responded.

"I'm taking Bella shopping." Edward said. I looked back at him. The answer was so straightforward and so humanly mundane.

"What he said." I said turning back to my bowl.

"Ok, well, have fun." Charlie got up from the table taking his things with him. "Be safe, I'll be back later." He paused at the door turning back to me. "You'll be home for dinner, right?"

"I'll try."

Charlie nodded shutting the door behind him. I loved the fact that he didn't hover. Edward sat down in the empty seat as soon as the door was closed. "Shopping?" I asked him, chewing my cereal slowly.

"Yes, shopping. You need to get out of a house once and a while. You've been spending too much time both here and at my place. "

"Sorry." I mumbled. I picked up my bowl drinking the last of the milk. "Where are we going, please don't say Port Angeles."

"No, actually I was thinking Olympia."

"Fine." I said flatly, and got up to wash my bowl in the sink. Edward could tell I was still upset from dropping the bowl. I had let my emotions get to me too easily. I had to stop doing that and develop a thicker skin. As I placed the bowl upside down on a towel I felt Edward's arms wrap around my waist and his head on my shoulder. I leaned back into him holding his arms. "I'm sorry about the last couple weeks."

"Don't be." Edward said kissing the top of my head. He turned me around so I was looking at him and leaned down to kiss my forehead. He cradled me against his chest rocking us gently for a minute. "You ready to go?" he asked when he stopped.

"Yeah. Let me just grab something upstairs." I ran up to my room and grabbed my IPod and my wallet shoving the wallet in my back pocket and putting the white ear buds in. When I got downstairs Edward was already out in his Volvo with the engine running. I didn't care where we went, so long as it was away from here.

~*~*~*

We walked from store to store for a while stopping to window browse at some and walking in to peruse at others. Edward eventually found a decent sized bookstore and held the door open for me as we walked in. Once inside he suggested we get lost in here for a while. I agreed kissing him before he ventured off toward a section of texts I would never consider reading. We were so alike in many ways when it came to books and bookstores. We could both wander aimlessly for hours just browsing titles until we found something that looked interesting or worthwhile. So I put my IPod on and began my wanderings.

Edward had recommended journaling to me on the drive up so I made my way toward the front of the store where the majority of journals was on display. He said it might help if I recorded my thoughts instead of keeping them bottled up inside. It would help to alleviate the pain. Like he was one to talk. But I had agreed with him. He told me he would never read it, but I preferred if he did. Then he could help through whatever struggle I was having better if he understood my feelings completely.

I found a nice thick journal with unlined, blank, creamy pages that was held shut with a black elastic band and had a serene design on the front. It would do for the intended purpose. I continued my purposeless searching and came across a small notebook-like journal that had a picture of a book on the front with the caption "What I Read" underneath. Edward had been reading a ton of books to me lately. I preferred his velvety voice in my head rather than my own. I figured keeping track of them wouldn't hurt. Most of them were actually pretty good. I pulled my IPod from my pocket and turned the volume up as Claire de Lune began to play. I wanted to blast it so I couldn't here my own thoughts.

As the calming piano continued I walked toward the CDs flipping through random selections not looking for anything in particular. I found a Beethoven one that looked promising but then I read "Rock Version" across the top. I put it back. If it wasn't played the way it was written it wasn't worth it. I knew Edward would agree. I turned the volume back down as Claire de Lune ended and turned the IPod off shoving it and the ear buds back in my pocket.

"Hey." Edward said behind me. I jumped, I hadn't heard him approach. "Sorry." He smiled at me. "What you got there?" he asked taking the CD from my hand I hadn't realized I'd picked up. It as a nature CD, full of recordings that ranged from "Falling Rain" to "In the Jungle". "Don't put too much stock in these." Edward said setting it back down. "They're not all that relaxing. What did you find?" He took the two journals from my hands. I looked off to the side as he flipped through the journal. A young girl, maybe a year older than me, was staring at Edward. No doubt imagining him naked judging from the degree of lust in her eyes. I noticed the distance between Edward and I wasn't close enough to exactly say we were together, so I closed it wrapping an arm around his waist. Edward smiled not looking up and leaned down to kiss my forehead. I looked back over at the girl. She was frowning at me in anger. "Show off." He muttered to me.

"Can't help it, and neither can you. You're too beautiful for your own good. I have to claim my territory."

"Territory?" Edward asked, clearly pleased with my terminology. He set my journals down and what he was holding as well then wrapped his arms around me and kissed me passionately. I heard a couple people clear their throats rather loudly in our direction, so I pulled back from him. "Now everyone around knows your mine as well." He picked our books back up. "I like this one." He said waving the journal to record books in. "But I think this one is better." He handed me a similar journal, except this one was for sex.

"Edward!" I hissed, laughing out loud. He took the journal from me and tucked it back under his arm. "You're sick." I teased walking past him and grabbing my things from him. I walked backwards for a while, grabbing his hand. "You're not seriously buying that are you?"

"No." he laughed. "I just thought I would show it to you. I was spending some time in the "Romance" section. That girl over by the CDs was over there as well, eyeing me the whole time. Man she has a dirty mind. I think she was following me around the store for a good twenty minutes."

I laughed out loud. Edward was just too delicious today in jeans and a blue button down. I think he had done it on purpose so that wherever we went I could grab him, claiming him every time another girl stared. "What did you find over there?"

"Not much that would benefit our relationship. We've already crossed most lines."

"True. What else you got?" I grabbed one of the huge texts he was carrying. "Philosophy? Ew." I handed it back to him, turning the right way and walking beside him as we headed for the checkout. "How can you read that stuff its so boring."

"When you have as much free time on your hands as I do you tend to lean toward things that take a long time to finish. These," he said indicating the two massive volumes, "should take me a couple months to finish. They're a set, all philosophy, all authors. Might as well get a taste of everything at once."

"A couple months?" I stared incredulously at him. "They would take me a couple years. But that's like me blinking my eyes for you right, a couple months." I was speaking in terms of time to a vampire.

"Yeah, you could put it that way." He looked down at me with his dazzling smile. "But it might take me a little longer since I'm spending so much time on more important things." He wrapped an arm around me pulling me closer to his side. I pressed my hand to his chest and leaned up to kiss him. "Want to grab some food after this?" he asked when we parted.

We stopped walking when we reached the line.

"Sure. I am a little hungry."

We checked out, Edward paying for everything. He was surprised when I didn't object, but I told him I was in no mood to argue about something as trivial as money right now. The total came close to $150. Edward's books alone cost over one hundred. We left the store and stopped at his car to drop the books off. I wasn't going to make him walk around for God knows how long lugging fifty pounds in philosophy texts, although they would probably be light as a feather to him. We walked around looking for somewhere to grab a late lunch, passing a few clothing stores. I asked if we could walk into one that had a huge SALE sign in the window. Inside I found a really pretty blouse the exact shade of blue that I knew Edward loved on me. It was on sale so how could I pass it up?

Edward had disappeared so I walked around looking for him, pausing here and there to look at things displayed on tables and hold random pieces of clothes up to myself in mirrors. I found a nice watch, remembering that I really needed one, but not for fifty bucks. I would find some cheap knock-off in Forks or Port Angeles. I walked the lower level of the store twice, never finding Edward. I was just taking my change from the cashier when I felt a familiar pair of strong, stone arms wrap around my waist. The look that suddenly sprung on the female cashier's face was a mixture of awe and jealousy. I loved this. But I felt sorry for her. No one could look at Edward and not be dazzled by him, especially when he flashed that smile.

"Ready?" he asked smoothly. I could imagine what the sound of his velvet voice was making the cashier think. "Thanks." He smiled at her. I glanced at her noticing she had stopped breathing. It made me giggle, and I had I turn around before she caught me laughing at her.

"You are so mean." I said as we walked out.

"You're no better." Edward scoffed at me.

"Where did you go?" I asked. Edward raised a familiar looking pink striped bag with the letters VS in silver on both sides. "You didn't?" I asked, mortified.

"I did." Edward confirmed. "It's for later tonight. What?" he shrugged. "There was one upstairs. I figured I'd get you a new shift."

"What color?" I asked shutting my eyes. I feared pink and purple the most.

"Does it matter? Everything is beautiful on you."

"What color?" I demanded, gritting my teeth.

Edward stopped walking and looked at me. "Ice blue with black lace. It's just a shift, Bella, not negligee. Just a short nightgown. And it's not see-through either." Edward said sensing my next question. "I know your taste." He took my hand and we started walking again.

"Thank you." I said a minute later.

"You're welcome." He looked down at me smiling. "You would have laughed, too, Bella. The looks I was getting from some of the people. One guy came up to me while I was looking through the shifts and said, 'you don't see many men in here on their own,'. I laughed out loud at him but didn't say anything. The cashier even asked me, 'Who are you buying this for?' I was honest and said, 'My girlfriend.', but I was supremely tempted to say fiancée. You should have seen the look on her face, Bella."

"Was she disappointed?" I asked teasingly.

"Beyond disappointment." Edward confirmed, clearly enjoying the conversation.

"Would I have felt proud to be standing there next to you?" I squeezed his hand.

"You would have felt haughty. Some of the older girls in line kept staring. You would've wrapped your arms around me and flashed each one of them a 'he's mine' face. You know you would have." Edward smirked at me.

"Yeah, probably." I smirked back.

We found a small deli to stop at so Edward could buy me something to eat. I got chicken salad on multigrain. When we got to the checkout he threw a small bag of chips and a raspberry tea in to the order. He selected a table away from the light crowd that was passing through to grab a late lunch like I was before everywhere closed for the night. No matter where you were, everything closed early on Sundays. I watched as a couple heads turned in our direction as we walked past. I giggled quietly to myself as Edward pulled my chair out for me.

"I hate celery in my chicken salad." I said picking out the little green bits before taking the first bite. The bread was a little chewy and there was a touch more mayo than actually necessary, but it was all right over all. I'd had worse. "So where do you want to go after this?"

"We should probably head back so you're home before Charlie gets there."

"Yeah." I sipped my tea and nibbled a couple chips. I was surprised when Edward turned the bag toward him and picked out a couple of chips. "What are you doing?" I asked quietly, leaning towards him.

"There's a couple girls over there wondering why you're eating and I'm not. They're wondering if we're friends, or "friends"." Edward popped the chips in his mouth and chewed quietly.

"And sharing my food confirms they're suspicions?" I asked, still leaning towards him.

"No, but this will." Edward leaned forward just enough and kissed me soundly. I returned it and then glanced around pretending to be embarrassed, but I was actually checking the looks on those girl's faces. The three of them sighed loudly and turned back to their plates of salad that all looked barely touched.

I ate in silence for a couple minutes, the three girls eventually getting up and walking past us to throw their trash out. Edward smiled evilly at me and said, "So, do you want to sleep at your house tonight or mine?" he said it quiet enough to appear inconspicuous, but loud enough that the girls could hear. I watched in satisfaction as they all glared at me, but I turned my gaze to Edward with a longing expression in my eyes. I swore one of them looked like she was about to cry.

"You are absolutely horrendous." I whispered once they were gone.

"But you still love me, right?" Edward took my hand and kissed it.

"Forever."

"Then answer my question. My place or yours tonight?"

I eyes the Victoria's Secret bag next to him and said, "Yours." And sipped my tea again.

Edward glanced at the bag. "We don't have to do that tonight. I just thought it would be a nice idea." He shrugged flashing his dazzling smile. I returned it, I couldn't help it.

~*~*~*~*

"I really hate going this way." Edward said as he turned off the main road onto a side street.

"Why?" I asked looking over at him.

"Too many accidents happen back here. But if you want to beat Charlie home we need to go this way or be stuck in traffic for over an hour."

"I don't mind being stuck in traffic with you." I slid over in my seat a little closer to him and placed my hand on his thigh.

Edward chuckled and turned down another street. He braked for a stop sign then turned to look at me. "We should be back at the highway in a couple minutes. Think you can hold on till we get back?" He continued on after waiting for a moment and then hit the brakes gently at another stop sign flicking his right directional on. He then leaned over and kissed me, taking me by surprise. The wheel began to turn, so we parted. He was still staring at me as we turned down the one way street. I looked away from him as his eyes returned to the road, my smile fading into an expression of fear as a black car barreled down the road toward us.


	6. Relapse

A/N: YEAH! I got a review! THANK YOU! My tank is still a little empty, though, so fill it more, please. I love you all!

ENJOY!!

ReddTwilight

P.S. Be prepared, this chapter is LONG.

~*~*~*~*

Chapter 6: Relapse

Edward yanked the wheel hard to the right just in time but the black car swiped the driver's side of the Volvo and kept going. I saw sparks fly up as metal rubbed on metal at at least twenty-five miles per hour. For once, Edward had been driving the speed limit. As everyone would say in a situation like this, it all happened so fast. The Volvo came to a stop at the curb and Edward put it in park then looked over at me with fear in his golden eyes.

"Are you all right?" he asked urgently, wrapping an arm around my shoulders his eyes wide.

"Yeah, fine." I said holding the right side of my head. It had bumped into the window when Edward turned the wheel so hard. He undid his seat belt and reached out to turn my head toward him. He ran his cool fingers through my hair checking for cuts or pieces of glass. The window wasn't cracked, so he found neither.

"Ok." He sat back in his seat and pulled out his cell. I recognized the number he was dialing before he finished.

"Don't call Charlie." I said grabbing at the phone.

Edward pulled it away from me. "We can't leave the scene of an accident, Bella."

"Ok, but please don't call Charlie." I begged.

"Who else is going to come and get us?" Edward asked putting the phone to his ear.

"You can still drive this car." I pressed.

"I know, but Charlie is going to want it towed. He won't want us driving back to Forks in it, for your safety."

I sat back in my seat fuming as Edward talked to Charlie, explaining what had happened and telling him where we were. "He said an hour, at least." Edward put his phone back in his pocket.

"Great. What the hell are we supposed to do till then?"

"He said he was also going to call the local police up here so they can take statements from us. That should be about twenty minutes."

"Great." I muttered again.

"Bella, at least we're not hurt."

I looked over at him with an exasperated expression. "At least I wasn't hurt, you mean. You probably didn't even feel that."

"Yes, I did, Bella. But not in the way you think."

I shook my head. "Whatever." I reached down to the floor and started picking through the bags from our day. I pulled out my new journal. Edward reached over and popped the glove compartment open producing a silver pen for me. I took it from him without speaking, opened my journal and began writing. As I watched the words flow from my mind to the paper I found myself wishing I could write as beautifully and gracefully as Edward, then at least when he read this later it would legible.

**My name is Bella Swan, and this record is for therapeutic reasons. Not my choice, ok, it is my choice, but I'm forcing myself into it upon request. I hope you're happy Edward. I've never been very good at this sort of thing, any papers I write in first person for school or otherwise usually sound like crap and the teacher can usually tell I made everything up. I'm not the most imaginative person. **

"I'd disagree with that." Edward said.

I looked over at him. He was reading over my shoulder. It didn't bother me. I wanted him to know what I was thinking.

"With what?" I asked. "That I'm not very imaginative?"

Edward chuckled. "You could fool me." He said, then leaned over and whispered in my ear, his voice deep and gruff. "In the bedroom at least." It sent shivers of anticipation down my spine, but I shook them off shaking my head and smiling. How could he be thinking of that at this time? My foot involuntarily nudged the pink bag on the floor in front of me and it made Edward's smile that much broader. "I'll stop." He said sitting back in his seat.

"Teasing me, or reading over my shoulder?"

"Both. Go ahead and write."

"I want you to read it later."

"I will, just write." Edward reached out toward the radio and turned on the CD player. Quiet rock filled the car enough so that it was soothing background noise. I continued in my journal.

**So, yeah, Edward is making me do this, ok, no he's not. But he recommended it. Strongly. Why does his voice have to be so damn persuasive? And why can't Jacob just let this go? Ugh! This is the reason Edward told me to start writing, because of the nonsense between us and Jacob. I don't even want to talk about it, yet here I am pouring my heart out, which is something I never do. Except when I'm alone with Edward and no one else is around to hear how utterly romantic I can actually be, well, verbally at least…**

**This is so boring…**

**Oh joy I see red and blue flashing lights. Ok, I give up, I can't write anymore.**

I shut my journal stuffing it back in the shopping bag and went to place Edward's pen in the glove compartment. "Keep it." He said turning the CD off and cutting the engine. "It looks nice in your hand."

I scoffed quietly to myself and put the pen in the bag as well. He got out of the car as the cruiser approached us. For once I actually wished it was Charlie's. Edward didn't need to say anything as he shut the door. I remained in the car. For now. I watched as he greeted the cops, then leaned against the cruiser and gave a statement, his arms folded the whole time. He kept glancing back at me every few seconds, finally motioning for me to get out. I unbuckled my belt and grabbed our bags. I stumbled with the weight of Edward's books, but I managed to carry them over.

"And you're all right as well, Miss?" One cop asked.

"Yeah, fine." I answered looking at Edward. He wrapped an arm across my back and hugged me. "When will Charlie be here?" I asked him.

"About a half hour. I just talked to him."

"Ok." I walked away and sat down on the curb. Edward followed, sitting beside me watching me carefully. I let my head fall into my hands.

"I got the plate number, Bella. They said they would be able to get the person. It was a hit and run so…"

"I really don't want to talk about it anymore, Edward, ok?" I said putting a hand up to stop him.

Edward didn't say anything, but wrapped his arm around my shoulders and rocked me until Charlie showed up.

~*~*~*

I couldn't sleep that night. When we got back I headed inside and went straight for the shower. Before I locked the bathroom door behind me, I could hear Edward putting my things down in my room and going through my pajama drawer. He knocked on the bathroom door a moment later. I opened it, steam billowing out behind me and took the pants and top he handed me.

"Want some company?" he asked. "I could just stand in there."

"No, I need a couple minutes alone right now to think." I said. "I'm sorry. I'll… uh…I'll be right out."

Edward shut the door for me and I locked it again pressing my back to it and breathing deeply. I lingered in the shower for a good ten or fifteen minutes making the water hotter as it cooled. I tried to let the heat wash away all thoughts of the accident, but it didn't work. I took my time drying my hair when I got out waiting for the steam to dissipate before opening the door. I wanted to keep the comforting clouds to myself.

I walked downstairs in the sweats and t-shirt Edward had gotten for me and found him on the couch and Charlie at the stove. He was frying something, fish from today maybe?

"When did you learn to cook?" I asked sarcastically.

"Hey, I did all right without you for a long time."

I laughed to myself tussling my still damp hair. "I'm assuming fish was always the only thing you cooked then? Grill maybe?"

"Bella, give your old man a break. Hungry?" he asked indicating the frying pan.

"Not really, but I'll have some. Smells good, actually."

Charlie smiled at me. "It'll be ready in a few minutes. Edward's in the living room, I think he's waiting for you. Bella, I want you to sleep here tonight. He can stay if you want I don't have a problem with it. You look like you need him right now."

"Yeah." I said shifting on my feet. I turned and walked out of the kitchen. Edward was sitting on the couch watching the TV with empty eyes. Some show on a science channel. He turned the volume down when I sat next to him wrapping an arm around me as I pulled my knees up and balled myself against his side. I wrapped my arms around him laying my head against his hard chest. I didn't really notice the coolness of his skin much anymore. I guess once you've slept next to a vampire for so long that sensation tends to fade. We sat there like that in silence in for several minutes, blankly watching the TV without much interest. "I love you." I whispered.

"I love you, too, Bella." He responded, gazing down at me. He pressed his lips to mine in what was meant to be gentle kiss, but it felt like so much more. It was passionate, but not urgent. I could feel all of his emotions without him having to make it obvious. I let him push my mouth open with his tongue and he swiped it over my bottom lip. All I wanted to do was crawl into his lap and grab him and make out as hard as I could, but not with Charlie around. I knew Edward could sense that in the way I was clutching at the collar of shirt to bring him closer and deepen the kiss. He responded naturally opening his mouth against mine. The kiss turned hot, but not sexual. I held onto his shirt and he clutched at my back. We parted after several more moments of indulgence, our breathing both a little fast. Just a little. He stroked the side of my face and kissed my forehead softly. I snuggled back against him returning my eyes to the TV.

~*~*~*

The next morning at school everyone was staring as Edward and I pulled up in my truck. His Volvo was currently being repaired at this moment. Edward got out of the driver's side and walked over to open my door for me. He took my bag slinging it over his shoulder and threw an arm across my shoulders smiling his cocky grin. I smirked and shook my head at him.

"Hey, Bella!" Tyler called from across the lot. I looked over at him. "What's with the truck, did his Volvo get boring all of sudden?"

I waved calling back, "You know me. I like to switch things up every now and then."

Edward began walking us toward the school. We didn't get ten steps to the door before he let out a loud growl. Fuck. Shit. A mess of obscenities flowed through my mind. I turned to see Jacob walking furiously toward us, his anger all too clear. He was shaking violently. He needed to calm down.

"Jake, no!" I yelled throwing myself between him and Edward before he got too close.

Seeing me there in the middle made them both stop and stare at me with livid eyes. Jacob's black ones bore into Edward's gold ones. I suddenly didn't care that I was between them, swiftly gazing from one to the other. I didn't want them attacking each other, not here. And not ever for that matter, but if they broke out here it would be death for them both in more ways than one, and I couldn't let that happen.

Jacob glared at Edward for several long moments then turned to me before looking back to Edward with a murderous glare. "Later." He snarled, intentionally flashing his white teeth.

Edward waited until Jacob was gone before grabbing my arm and pulling me away toward the school. He was squeezing far too hard and I could feel the bones pushing together. As we approached the doors he yanked me down an alley between the buildings away from everyone's eyes. He shoved me against a brick wall not letting go of my arm, but grasping the other just as hard.

"What were you thinking?" he demanded, his voice hard and furious. I hadn't seen him this angry, his eyes this violent since the day we met. "What if neither of us had stopped?" He shook me. "Don't EVER do that again, Bella!" he shouted at me. The anger in his voice made me shudder. "Ever! Promise me!" he shook me again.

"Edward!" I choked out, "you're hurting me!"

He let me go slowly. There were marks on my upper arms from his fingers. Bruises were without a doubt going to form by the end of the day if not sooner. I would be spending the next week in long-sleeved shirts. Edward let his arms fall to his sides.

"I'm sorry." He said, his voice calm now, his eyes soft. "Are you all right?"

"Fine," I answered not looking at him. He took my chin in his hand and forced my face upward to look at him. "Don't YOU ever do that again." I threatened, my voice quiet.

"I won't. I feel terrible now, but you have to promise me you'll never put yourself in the middle like that again."

"I can't. I can't let you hurt each other."

"Bella, you can't do that. You don't understand." He tried to explain to me, but I wouldn't hear it.

"No! You don't understand, Edward Cullen!" I yelled at him. "I love you, more than my own life, and I know that has double meaning, but Jacob is my friend, too!" I pointed toward the lot in the direction Jacob had come from. "It would kill me if you two destroyed each other!" I let the angry tears fall hot and wet onto my cheeks. Edward reached up to wipe them off but I pushed his hand away. "Don't touch me." I snapped at him.

He put his arms up resting his hands on the wall on either side of me. "That's not going to happen, Bella. I won't let it." He sighed softly then turned my face up to his again. "Bella, love, please." He begged, his voice so gentle. "Believe me. Look at me."

I turned my eyes up to his and was shocked by the intensity of them. The softness, the compassion, the anger all showed at once but what stood out most was the look of pure unadulterated love. I gasped out loud. "I believe you." I said, meaning it.

"Do you forgive me?"

"Yes."

"For everything?"

"Yes."

"Let me kiss you, please."

I did, letting him wrap me up in his arms and hold me impossibly close to his stone body. He shut his eyes tight against mine and I returned his kiss with such intense ardor it shocked both him and myself. He let me go and stared at me for a moment and then his gaze fell to my arms and he winced. "Put this on." He said handing me his jacket. "I'm so sorry, Bella."

"Stop." I said quietly, shrugging his coat on. It was far too big on me. He didn't say anything else, just took my hand and led me into the school.

~*~*~*

The whole morning I spent worrying, I couldn't focus on anything, and it only got worse when I got to Calculus. Jessica noticed I couldn't stop bouncing my knees up and down and eventually asked me what was wrong. I shook my head not saying anything.

"Anxious?" she asked quietly.

I nodded.

"Something with you and Edward?"

I nodded again. She stopped asking questions after that. When the bell rang I was out of my seat so fast I reminded myself of Edward in the biology class we had had together last year. How, for a long time, he had gotten out his seat so fast just to get away from the smell of my blood. I was the first one out of the classroom and began looking frantically up and down the hall for him.

"Right here." He said behind me quietly. I didn't care if anyone saw. I threw my arms around him and held him tight. "It's ok, Bella. I'm in one piece."

"That's not the point." I whispered to him. He didn't respond. He knew why I was holding him like this. He stroked my hair for a minute before detaching me from his body and walking us toward the cafeteria. Alice was waiting at the table for us. Jasper had gone hunting with Emmett and Rosalie for a couple days.

"Alice," Edward looked at her as we sat down wrapping his arm around me, "please give Bella some peace of mind before she loses her mind."

Alice shut her eyes for a moment, her perfect brows furrowing in concentration. "I don't see Bella grieving in any way for this, I don't see Edward hurt. I don't know what's going to happen with Jacob of course. Sorry I can't give you more on him. You know why." Alice looked at me apologetically.

"Yeah I know." Alice couldn't see Jacob or any of the La Push pack in her visions, ever. She didn't know why. They were just blocked for some reason. "Thanks, Alice. That sort of helps."

Alice reached across the table placing her cold hand over mine. "I know you won't believe me until this over. I understand." She pulled back and looked at Edward. They exchanged glances so quickly I assumed I was not meant to see, but I caught it. Alice had seen something else. The look in their eyes made me shudder internally. I didn't like it.

~*~*~*

I let Edward drive us home after school. He was expectedly tense. We were both assuming Jacob would be waiting at my house. I didn't see his car at the curb, nor was Charlie's cruiser in the driveway. I got extremely nervous. Having Charlie home would have helped, but only marginally so. I don't know how he would react to a vampire and werewolf suddenly lunging at each other and crashing through the front door, but at least his gun would have been with him…

I shook and immediately put the thought out of my mind. Why did I even think that to begin with? I was not that kin of person. Edward reached down and took my hand squeezing gently. He started sniffing as we pulled into the driveway.

"He's here." He said unbuckling his belt. "He's… Calm."

"What?"

"He's not angry… Well, he's angry, but he's not violent like he was this morning. He's over there." Edward pointed toward the back of the house. "I'll go first."

"No," I grabbed his wrist, undoing my belt and opening my door. "I'll go." I let go of him and started to get down from the cab, but Edward grabbed my arm.

"Bella." He said his tone extremely serious. "This morning…"

"I know, and I never promised you. But I can keep him calm. Just follow me, ok?"

Edward sighed staring at me for a long moment. He finally nodded, conceding, and got down from the cab behind me. He followed ten paces behind me as we walked around the house. Jacob was standing by the deck, leaning on the wood stairs. When he saw me his face suddenly turned from anxiety to anguish.

"Bella, I'm so sorry about this morning… I never meant for you to put yourself in danger like that. I bet Edward gave you an earful after." He chuckled.

I breathed a heavy sigh of relief. "What was that about, Jacob, and why are you so calm now?"

Jacob looked over my shoulder as Edward approached behind me. He stopped when he was directly behind me. He placed his hands on my shoulders, not for comfort, but to pull me away if it came to that. I shook at the thought and his hands tightened softly, calming me.

Jacob breathed heavily, angrily, but he didn't shake. I assumed it had something to do with my presence. "Charlie called my house this morning to tell Billy what had happened to you yesterday. I heard most of the conversation and when I heard that… Edward," Jacob snarled his name, "had been the one driving I bolted out of the house and drove to the high school. I knew you would be there when I got there, and when I saw him walking with you… I just got angry. He looked so… casual… smiling that way. Like he had never put your life in danger to begin with. I just lost it, Bella, I'm so sorry." He paused. "Then when I got back to my house my dad explained to me what had happened, that the accident wasn't Edward's fault. That it had been out of his control. I've been thinking about that all day, Bella."

Jacob walked over to me until we were an average person's pace apart. Edward growled behind me and tightened his grip on my shoulders again. I winced and he loosened it. Jacob snarled as well, glaring at Edward with furious eyes. I reached out and grabbed Jacob's hand. His shaking stopped immediately.

"Thanks. Your touch seems to be the only thing that helps." He smiled tightly at me, and his eyes flicked to Edward again. "I don't know if I can have this "talk" now, Bella. I'm just too upset."

"We can wait, right, Edward?" I looked back up at him. Edward didn't say anything, but nodded once, tersely.

"No, I mean ever, Bella." Jacob clarified. "I'm just far too tempted to kill him right now, but I can't because I know what it would do to you. No matter how gratifying it would be to just end your life, bloodsucker." Jacob stared Edward down.

"Jacob, don't you ever say that again!" I suddenly yelled at him, and threw his hand down.

"Trust me, mongrel, the feeling is mutual."

"Edward!" I shrieked. "Stop it now, the both of you!" I pulled myself from Edward's grasp staring at both of them. "If you two cared about me as much as you both say you do you wouldn't say things like that at all! You would simply come to a truce and just STOP!" I paused to take a breath, waiting for my words to sink in before I added more. "I'm beginning to question if either of you actually do love me."

"Bella, don't say that." Edward said reaching for my hand, his eyes full of pain. I pulled my hand away from him before he could grab it. "You don't mean it."

"No, I do, Edward and at you mostly, too. You know more than Jacob does about I feel about all of this. You know better than to make remarks like that, that might instigate something."

"Bella, please…" Edward begged, his voice echoing the emotions in his eyes. If vampires could cry I swore Edward would be at this moment.

"No, don't play that card with me, Edward." I turned to Jacob. "And you," I said staring him down, "If you really were my friend, you wouldn't be doing this right now. You would be the Jacob that I know in my heart, and you would accept my feelings as they are and just let this go."

"I can't, Bella."

"See, that's what I mean."

"You're not safe with him."

"Oh, Jacob, I swear to God if you say that one more time. I will personally rip your head off myself." Edward chuckled behind me. I turned on him and slapped him. "Shit…" I said holding my hand. The pain was so intense it brought tears to my eyes. Edward reached for me but I shoved him back. "Just go away, both of you." I hissed furiously.

I turned on them, cradling my hand to my chest, and walked back into the house tears of physical and emotional pain pouring silently down my face.


	7. Silent Night

A/N: I thought I'd give everyone a break and make this chapter short, sweet, and to the point. And yeah, I've been waiting for politically incorrect errors in at least one of my stories, so thanks for bringing that to my attention about Olympia, and I apologize if there are more in the future. I've actually been to Washington State, but only to Seattle, so maybe I should have chosen to write the chapter there, but this story and its prequels "Trials" and "Tribulations" are supposed to be taking place along the timeline of "Eclipse", although not actually in the story line. But in the novel Charlie keeps telling Bella to stay away from Seattle because of the murders occurring there, so that's why I chose Olympia. I apologize again, and thanks again! (Sobbing) Listening to "Let Me Sign" right now, it always makes me cry every freaking time. Rob Pattinson's voice is just too powerful.

TEAM EDWARD!!

ENJOY!!

Don't forget to review everyone! I love you!

ReddTwilight

~*~*~*~*

Chapter 7: Silent Night

I couldn't drive so I would have to wait until Charlie got home to take me to the hospital. In the meantime in sat at the kitchen table with an icepack on my left hand and Edward's silver pen in my right. My hand flew furiously across the pages of my journal, the words getting smudged as my tears fell onto the wet ink. My crying was the first thing Charlie heard when he walked in.

"Bella!" He picked me up from the chair and looked at my hand. I winced, letting out little involuntary yelps of pain when he turned my hand to look at my fingers. "Let's go." He said grabbing my coat from the hook by the door. Charlie didn't ask question on the way over, I volunteered all the information.

"I slammed my hand in a car door."

"Uh, huh. Which car? His or yours?" Charlie asked. I could tell he didn't believe me.

"Dad, mine of course. His is being repaired, remember?" I said, trying not to sound too rude.

"Right, I forgot. When did you do this?" he asked turning into the parking lot.

"About two hours ago. Edward got picked up by Alice, he wasn't feeling well." I explained quickly, trying to come up with some excuse for Edward's absence,

"That was my next question." Charlie said putting the car in park. He helped me out and kept one hand behind me as we walked into the ER. We didn't need to wait long, since my hand was obviously broken and I was in considerable pain.

Of course it had to be Carlisle that took care of me. Charlie remained out in the waiting room to fill out and sign paperwork for me. He was probably used to it by now and would only take him a couple minutes. Carlisle took X-rays of my hand and then told me to wait in a room while the photos came back. I bit my lip in anxiety, a little too hard, and I tasted the blood. It didn't bother me right now, I just wanted to get out of here, away from anything or anyone that reminded me of Edward.

"You did a good job on your hand, Bella." Carlisle said walking into the room and placing my X-rays on the lightboard attached to the wall. He flicked it on and studied the breaks in my left hand. "Slammed it in a car door, huh?"

"Yup."

"How hard did you slap him, Bella?"

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Carlisle knew. He'd probably already spoken to Edward and knew everything that was going on.

"Hard enough." I answered flatly.

"You should've slapped Jacob instead, could've saved yourself all this pain." He said sitting down on stool and examining my hand again. I winced. He got up and collected the things he would need to form a cast around my hand then sat back down and got to work.

"Jacob has already been physically punished by me, twice. And Edward deserved it." I said defensively.

"He told me what happened. He's very upset, Bella. But with himself, not you. Said he deserved everything you said to him, and that you shouldn't have held back so much for so long. I thought I told you to find ways to channel those emotions better."

"I have a problem with authority." I said sourly. "Ow." I winced as Carlisle wrapped plaster around a particularly sore spot on my palm, right in the middle, the portion that had made contact with Edward's marble skin. An uncomfortable silence passed between us as he continued to wrap my hand up in sticky white plaster.

"All right, done. Try not to move it too much till it dries completely."

"How long will that take?"

"Not too long."

"I feel terrible. I shouldn't have said those things to him." I was speaking more so to myself, but Carlisle would have heard me even if I had whispered.

"Why did you then?"

"Didn't Edward tell you what happened?"

"A little. But not everything. He came home with such pain in his eyes I couldn't bear to press him for details. All I got was what I told you." Carlisle got up from the stool and went over to the counter to clean up, tossing his gloves in the trash on the way. "He locked himself in his room and he won't come out. I don't know what he's doing in there."

"Great. That makes me feel better." I hopped down from the table careful not to touch it with my left hand.

"Maybe you should talk to him, I'm sure hearing your voice would help him significantly."

"I don't know if I'm ready to forgive him. Geez, I must have really broken his heart."

Carlisle didn't respond. "Maybe I should talk to him. Could you tell him to come over to my house tonight, but late, after Charlie goes to sleep?"

"Sure."

"No, wait, can I just go back with you instead. I need to see him. I can't stand not knowing what's going through his mind."

"Now you know how he feels."

I chuckled to myself. This was quite ironic, actually. "But I think Charlie is going to want you to stay home tonight." Carlisle continued as he signed the bottom of a form.

"I'll talk him into it." I said. "I need to see Edward, I need to know he's all right. I love him too much."

Carlisle smiled at me. "Should I let him know you're coming?"

"No. I'll… uh… go talk to Charlie. When are you leaving?"

"We can go when you're ready."

"Ok." I left the room and went to find Charlie. He was on the phone at the ER desk, with the station it sounded like.

"Hey, Bells. Geez." He looked at my left hand. Plaster covered it from my wrist to my first knuckles. "You really did a number on it. Listen, I got a page and I need to go out again. How about I take you home and grab you some dinner on the way?"

There was no way this was fate, or stars aligning in my favor or whatever. Things never worked out perfectly for me on purpose. "Um, actually, I think Carlisle is leaving for the night soon so he can drive me back. You should go, it sounded like an emergency." I nodded toward the phone.

"You sure?" Charlie asked. I nodded. I knew he would feel safe with Carlisle driving me. Even if he wasn't a vampire he was someone you could just trust without knowing why. "All right. I'll call you later at home to check on you."

"Dad, um, the other thing is, I'm going to spend the night at the Cullens. I want to check on Edward, make sure he's all right." It was the truth, just not the one Charlie thought it was.

"Bells, what if he's contagious?"

"He's not." I said quickly. "It's just food poisoning."

"Ok," Charlie looked at me like he didn't quite believe me, but like he believed me enough to let me go. "I guess I'll just see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah, definitely."

"All right, Bells." Charlie hugged me gently. "Be safe, and I'm not saying that as a habitual request now. I think you've been in the hospital enough for one year. Let's try and take a break from it for a while, ok?"

"Not a problem." It was a lie as soon as it left my mouth. Charlie waved as he walked out. As if on cue, Carlisle appeared from an office door behind the desk and said he was ready. He had changed from his white coat. He didn't say anything to me as he drove, he knew I wanted to think in silence. I needed to come up with a real apology for Edward. Not something like an explanation. There was no excuse for the way I had treated him.

I knew Edward could probably smell me as soon as I walked into the house, but I went upstairs and knocked on his door anyway. It swung open on its own so I walked inside. At first I was hopeful since the door was unlocked, but then my hopes crashed when I saw that the room was empty. My heart started racing. Where had he gone? Would he come back? What had I done? I fell onto the bed ignoring the pain in my left hand and started crying softly. I yelled at myself, my voice muffled by the pillow I had buried my face in. I was such an evil person. I didn't deserve Edward's grace if he gave it to me. I should never have said those things to him, or Jacob. No one ever came in to check on me so I must have fallen asleep at some point. When I woke up I looked over at the clock. It was two in the morning. I couldn't sleep anymore. I reached out with my right hand to turn the lamp on, but a soft, velvet voice stopped me.

"Don't move." Edward said from where he sat on his couch. His chin was resting on his folded hands that balanced on one knee. I pulled my hand back folding it under the pillow to support my head more so I could look at him. Edward got up and walked the short distance between us crouching beside me so our eyes were level. "I need to ask this first before you say anything, Bella." He took a breath. "Is this the end?"

"No. Never. That's why I'm here-" I rushed to get the words out, but I was silenced by Edward pressing his mouth to mine. "Does that mean I'm forgiven?"

"I was never mad at you, Bella. I deserved everything you said to me. You were absolutely right this afternoon, about everything."

"I still shouldn't have said those things." I whispered.

"It needed to be said, Bella. Alice saw it coming. There was no stopping it. That's why I let you get everything out. I just wasn't expecting you to slap me. Can I see?" Edward reached for my left hand and gently lifted it where I was keeping supported on a separate pillow. "I'm so sorry, Bella." He said looking at it, then at me.

"Don't start that, please." I begged. "I'm so tired of it."

"Ok." Edward kissed my fingertips then placed my hand back on the pillow. "Can I at least comment on what an ass I am?" Edward smiled playfully at me and I returned it.

"No. You're you, and Jacob's Jacob. There's no changing a person from who they are. But you two do need to stop fighting all the time."

"He called me, you know." Edward said. He pulled his cell from his pocket and waved it before placing it on his nightstand. "He wanted to know how you were. I had to tell him I had no idea for once because you weren't talking to me. He tried to call your house too. When he didn't get an answer there that's when he called me. I assumed you were at the hospital at the time."

"What happened?" I asked, "After I went inside."

"Jacob and I talked."

"What?" I sat up in the bed, shocked. Edward got up and sat beside me.

"He couldn't take the pain in your eyes anymore. I've never seen him break down like that. He just fell to the ground after you left and started crying. Bella, I swear all of this is true." Edward held his hands up. "We talked… For a long time, too. Calmly. Like friends almost. I couldn't believe either. Jacob just let everything come out. How much he loves you and how much he knows he's cost you by being the way he has. He's so sorry. He swore never to do it again, and that he's going to leave us alone. He won't try to come between us anymore. I told him I never meant anything, but he called my bluff with a laugh. That's when he calmed down the most. He said that I was lying, and I was, but I was just trying to keep the mood light, trying to keep him from getting too angry with himself. The last thing he needed to do was phase and lose control all over again."

I sat there in stunned silence. I couldn't find any words to form questions. I let Edward continue. "I really don't know how long we talked for, but you were gone by the time we finished. I apologized for every drop of bad blood between us, although we both knew at the time it wasn't going to change anything. Neither one of can stand to see you in pain, Bella. Physical, emotional, or otherwise… So, we came to a truce. For you. It doesn't change the fact that we're natural enemies, but at least things won't feel so complicated anymore between us."

I leaned over and kissed him when he finished. Edward responded, lying me on my back and wrapping his arms around me. I let my left hand fall gently against a pillow, and buried my right hand in his hair. He got himself on his knees and kissed me harder. I felt familiar heat and desire course through me when Edward rocked his hips against mine, and I rocked back. He grunted against my mouth, and I groaned back. I knew the sound drove him crazy but he didn't show it. My hand detached from him and went for his belt. Edward parted from me and pulled my hand back.

"Not tonight, Bella."

"Then don't kiss me like that if you're not going to let me reciprocate."

"I'll let you, just no sex."

"Meany…" I whispered. He leaned down and kissed me again. "Wutcha gonna let me do?"

Edward quirked an eyebrow, glanced down the length of our entangled bodies then looked back at me. "Use your imagination." He said.

He then rolled us over so he was lying on his back and I was straddling him. He really shouldn't have told me that.

That night was anything but silent….

~*~*~*

A/N: ok, I lied, but only a little. Five pages isn't too long, right? One more chapter to go! And for those of you out there wondering how I crank these fics and their chapters out so fast, I am currently on Christmas Break from college, and I have nothing but time on my hands (Ha, Edward reference) until the end of the month… So, I need something to occupy my time.


	8. Letting Go

A/N: I make references to the third novel, so there are spoilers for any of you who haven't read it yet. But I also make reference to my other stories that include plot points that are NOT in "Eclipse". (Like Edward and Bella being sexually active before they marry). To understand those better it's safe to say go back and read the prequels "Trials" and "Tribulations".

Otherwise…

ENJOY!!!

ReddTwilight

P.S. Reviews are always welcomed as always! Love ya!

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Chapter 8: Letting Go

"Give it back, Jacob!" I yelled at him. "Give me the ring!" I lunged at him and he jumped away from me on the couch.

Jacob laughed at my feeble attempts to grab my ring from his grasp, which was three feet above my head. He took my left hand and slid the ring back onto the third finger. "I just wanted to see it, Bella."

I straightened the ring and looked at him. "What? You can't do that with it on my finger?"

"I wanted a really good look at it. I still can't believe you're actually wearing it."

"I'm taking it for a test drive this weekend. I promised Edward I would. I'm only wearing when I'm not around Charlie."

We were in Jacob's house right now on the couch watching TV, or at least we had been until Jacob had noticed the diamond on my freshly healed left hand. He'd grabbed my hand and stared at the ring, then at me. He then proceeded to take the ring from me.

Edward was out hunting for the weekend, and when I had disappeared from Alice's mind he correctly assumed that I would be spending some time with Jacob. He'd told me to have fun but added seriously at the end, 'Be safe,'. Some things were never going to change, but at least they were solved.

Jacob and I settled back down and I gazed absentmindedly at my ring while he watched the program that was on.

"You're really going to marry him?" he asked, chewing on some popcorn.

"Yeah, I am. Why?" I asked, the fingers on my left playing with the ring. I covered it with my right hand.

Jacob shrugged and popped some more fluffy kernels in his mouth. "Just didn't think it was that serious." He said.

"What? Me and Edward?"

"No. You wanting to be a blood-I mean vampire. It breaks my heart that you want that, Bella."

"I want to be with Edward forever, Jake, you know that."

"Yeah." Jacob was silent for a moment as he breathed deeply in and out staring at the TV. "It just kills me inside knowing you'll be like… Like them." Jacob leaned forward placing his empty bowl on the tiny coffee table in front of us then leaned back and slung his arm around my shoulders.

"You're just going to have to let me go." I sighed. "Neither you nor Edward is going to change my mind about this. He already agreed to it actually, his only demand in return was that I marry him first."

"And you just had to say yes, didn't you?" Jacob asked, slight irritation in his voice as he reached for the remote and changed the channel.

I looked up at him from where I was reclining next to him. "I did." I answered softly. "Although it did take a little bribery on Edward's side to get me to say yes."

"Oh yeah, like what?" Jacob laughed.

"Oh you know… Slave for life and that sort of thing." I smirked up at him.

"Hey, that's our private joke." He teased.

"I know, I'm kidding. He promised me a real honeymoon, but that's out now, so he has to come up with something else to make sure I keep my side of the deal."

"I don't know if I can let you go, Bella. You mean too much to me."

"I only meant as a human. I'll still be your best friend, Jake. That's not going to change." I was very sincere.

"No. But you will change, and not for the better, either." Jacob said far too quietly.

"Jake, can we talk about something else?"

"Like what?"

"Like, um… Your car. How is it?"

Jacob smirked and nodded his head in laughter. "Still in once piece."

I laughed, but the atmosphere still felt too tense between us, so I reached down and took his hand. Jacob threaded our fingers and he smiled at me. That seemed to help, I could feel him relaxing a bit.

"Sorry." He mumbled.

"It's ok. I'm sure something drastic has to happen in order for you to stop thinking about me."

"I'll never stop thinking about you, Bella." He leaned down and kissed the top of my head, in a friendly way, then leaned forward and grabbed two cans of soda from the table, handing me one. I was glad things were "normal", as much as the definition of the word would allow, again. I was absolutely certain that I would not have made it through this in one piece if Jacob and Edward hadn't sorted things out between them. It wasn't perfect and I knew it never would be, but it was better.

And I could live with that.

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